Well wish us well on our new journey

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Feb 9, 2014.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We might be absolutely crazy as loons but we have made the decision to runaway from home. We have never been successful with getting both our oldest and our youngest out of our home for any length of time. Oh Cory has spent a lot of time living in his own place for the last 5 years but never for more than 9 months or so at a time. Many of the places have been absolute dumps that I would never want my granddaughters anywhere near.

    The last straw for me with Cory was that his place was broken into and robbed when he decided to spend the night on the spur of the moment the beginning of January. I just dont think anyone is safe over there. And of course, I think Billy is simply way too comfortable here and never plans on moving. Personally I think Tony has enabled him far too long.

    We are planning on charging them rent because that is simply real life. I dont think we are asking too much because we have a 4.5 bedroom, 2 bath home. We are only asking them to pay $4oo month in rent and for them to take over the electric and cable bills. We will continue to pay the water bill.

    We have found a pretty decent little house for us to rent. Its in a great location for when the grands come to visit. We are the last home before our local park is there. In fact one part of our fence is the cities. Keyana is going to be thrilled to be able to go ride her bike and play on the nice playground. Now granted that the house is pretty small even though it has 3 bedrooms. Personally we only wanted 2 bedrooms but this will do because the smallest of the three bedrooms is really tiny and we will probably use it for storage. It has a nice bedroom for us to install Monkey's bunk bed, her dressing table, a dresser and a nice book case for her.

    I am so looking forward to this because I cant take the stress here anymore. Now that Cory is considering this place as his, he is working like crazy to clean it out. Now he wants to tell us how to behave while we are still here. Ha! That goes over like a lead balloon with me.

    Sunday Tony and I are going over to measure the rooms to make sure things I want to take will fit. I am pretty worried that our king sized bed may not fit. Gonna hate if I have to go down to a queen sized bed now. Already I have a list of what we will need to buy because I am not taking a whole lot from here. Things like I need all the things to fix up the bathroom. I am planning on doing it in a fish motif. I will need curtains all over the house. I know I want pink curtains for Monkey's room because her bed will be done in a Hello Kitty motif. The other rooms can be any normal colors. There are only a total of 9 windows in the house so it shouldnt be too expensive if I buy the cheap one.

    I tell you though, I am so excited because I think our stress levels will drop significantly. Yeah the boys wont be too happy with us...Billy especially because he has gotten so used to not paying more than 150 a month for the last 8 years. His bills will now go up to 400 or slightly more each month. What they have agreed to do is have Cory pay the rent for both of them when he gets his check the first of the month and then Billy pick up the rest of the bills. They should be close to equal. Of course they will both have to provide their own groceries.

    Yeah this is crazy but I think this will be good for us. I have been parenting for the last 33 years of my life. Its time for us to simply be a couple.
    • Winner Winner x 3
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • List
  2. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I have been wondering and wondering how you were! I love it that it is you and Tony who are moving ~ not just you, and not you and the kids.

    Very happy!

  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congratulations! You've come up with a plan that takes care of YOU and Tony. Sending you the very best of wishes for an easy move and a successful, win/win/win/win for everyone...........big hugs too.........
  4. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    I think this is a great, fun, creative response to what could otherwise be a stuck situation. Best of luck to you, and keep us updated! and yes, WE WISH YOU WELL ON YOUR ADVENTURE!!
  5. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Let's see...what would we send the happy couple, as they set up their new home?

    They say salt and a loaf of freshly baked bread, for sure.

    Maybe, roses? Champagne? A deep, red wine?

    Buttery, Egyptian cotton sheets. Thick, terry cloth robes, a steaming, bubbling spa tub and a masseuse, at sunset.

  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I am sending you well wishes for your new life....about time.......you deserve it my friend.
  7. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Sounds like a good plan. Hoping it all falls into place nicely for you.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I've been looking each day for verification, lol, and I am thrilled to read this post. Having a fresh start should be awesome for you and Tony. Can you tell I am thrilled? GREAT news! Hugs DDD
  9. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    What a wonderful, positive solution! Good luck with it all, Janet. I'm so happy for you.

    Love, Esther
  10. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time Staff Member

    I like this solution a lot. YOU leave, instead of THEY leave. My SO said the other night: your son obviously is never going to leave this town.

    Ugh. I didn't like even hearing that. And I thought, well, maybe I will leave.

    That sounds pretty darn appealing just about now.

    Physical distance is so relieving.

    I wish you tremendous relief, Janet!
  11. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    This made me laugh so much! What a crazy, brave, brilliant solution.
    I wish you every happiness in your new home.
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Janet, this is good on many fronts, in my opinion.

    You and Tony get to rekindle your relationship without the pressure of the kids and the grands.

    You have a smaller place to worry about cleaning. I personally am looking very forward to next year when hubby and I move into a two bedroom apartment. Why would you and I want to keep cleaning a big place? Let the younger ones do that. Or not do it. At any rate, not your problem anymore :)

    Probably cheaper? More money for you to pamper and spoil yourself? Janet, you don't do enough of that and you deserve it.

    Your health may improve when there is less stress/yelling/fighting/'little kids making noise.

    I'm really happy for you and for Tony. I hope this turns out great, and I think it's just what the doctor ordered.
  13. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Janet. I agree with the others. This sounds like the best thing for you and Tony.
    Wishing you great happiness and peace in your new home.

    Yay! (Jumping up and down, and clapping my hands like a little girl)
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I cant wait to get in. I am going to go tomorrow to have the power turned on and hopefully the cable too. Right now I am so ill I cant even look at anyone without losing my temper. Somehow last night I managed to lose my mouse for the computer.

    Cory thinks anything I put up in the house is now his for the taking. If I tell him no we get in a huge fight. For example, the end of summer I found some brand new sandals on sale for a buck. I planned on keeping them put up until closer to summer and then sell them on eBay. Oh that didnt happen. He found the box and put them on the baby. He claims they fit even though her toes are hanging off the edge. Ticked me off and we screamed at each other.

    Tony wants to talk to me about packing up what we are taking. I told him I am taking the clothes on my back and burning everything else I own.

    I had a whole box of yarn that I have bought in the last couple of months but the baby has repeatedly gotten into it so now its all tangled up. I threw all of it all over my room last night and said to H with it all. I simply dont care anymore and if I want more yarn, he can buy it for me. I have caught the baby digging in the drawers in my night stand which is where I keep all my medication. Some is in child proof bottles but I also have a weekly pill box that she can open. I have repeatedly told him this is extremely dangerous and if she takes any of those pills chances are good she will either be extremely sick or die. His answer is I should lock my door. I cant do that because my door frame is broken plus there is an opening at the very bottom where a vent went but over the years it has been kicked out during one of our many fights. She can scoot right through that opening. I keep telling him that it shouldnt be my responsibility to keep his kid out of my room when I am not here, it is his. That is what parenting is all about. Trust me, I wont let me get in trouble for her getting into things, I will blame him.

    Oh trust me, this weekend cant come fast enough.

    One thing to remember is that I may be off line for a little while if they dont get my internet turned on this week.
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh Janet, The first line in your thread just made CRACK UP! Oh you are so funny!

    I can't wait for you and Tony to finally just be a "couple".
    In many ways it's having on the back-end what we might otherwise have had if we hadn't started having those crazy kids so fast!

    Now granted husband and I have easy child here. But easy child works 20 hrs, goes to university school (online at library this semester) and massage therapy school at night and now has a boyfriend...She is NEVER HOME.

    So for the first time husband and I are like just a "couple" and it is suhweet! We have so much fun together now.

    Hey call me sometime when you get some time.
    ps...don't forget the birth control! lol
  16. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    What a great idea, if the king size bed takes up the whole room maybe could use the small bedroom as a changing room/ giant closet?

  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Can you tell that we ALL are rooting for you and Tony? This is an awesome opportunity to wipe the slate clean and find the commonalities that let you to unite in the first place. Really........YES.........really I am hoping and praying that you will be albe to make the transition with excitement, with love and with hope for your future. Hugs. DDD

    PS: We ALL know you are a kind wonderful person and given the chance you CAN form a lifelong bond with YOUR man!
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Dont worry about birth control...all my innards were removed back in 04...lol.

    HelpAngel...I had to laugh about using the smaller room as a changing room. My first thought was "uhhh, why do I need a changing room when I have no babies!"

    I think the bed will fit in there okay but we wont have much room for anything else. We did measure the room and it is 11' x 11'9". King sized beds are 6 and a third feet wide and 6 and 2/3rd feet long so even if we say 7 x 7, if we put the bed on the longest wall that would give us 2 feet on each side. Tony wants to angle it so that the foot of the bed is facing the door. Im not sure how that would fit though.

    Now Monkey's room is much easier. She has a nice bunk bed which will fit along the outside wall and then she has an antique dressing table, a small dresser and a book case.

    I also really want Tony to either make or buy a Hello Kitty bookcase. In case you couldnt tell, her room is going to be decorated with Hello Kitty. I can always change it when she outgrows it. Oh and she will have simple pink curtains on her windows. That way I wont have to change them.
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    It is about time!!!! Yay for you and Tony!

    As for keeping the baby out of your medications, I am of the mind it is BOTH of your jobs. YOurs because they are your medications and you know the door cannot be locked. Cory's because he is being an absolute idiot when he knows darn well how dangerous those medications are. Trust me, a court or cop will not place blame on one or the other of you if the TODDLER gets itno those medications.

    The new place should be great. Make triple darn sure that TONY understands that you will not tolerate even visits from Buck. NOt even a foot on the property. Tell him you want the place to be a 'fight free' zone and that means no Buck because you don't/won't/can't trust him. Don't fight over this wtih Tony, just make it clear and then move on.

    As for decorating, curtains can easily be made out of sheets. Heck, a fast seam or even some fabric glue or stitch wich fusible webbing in rolls can be used to make a pocket to slide a rod through, and you are done. You can hem the bottoms or just cut fringe in them if you want. I once did curtains for ten windows in three hours with fabric glue that you set with an iron and some secondhand sheets. They were cute and no one had clue that they were secondhand sheets.

    I hope you and Tony can start life in this new chapter with much less stress and more happiness. I think this is just wonderful!
  20. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    This is going to be so awesome for you and Tony! Maybe you can take a room in your "old" house, put your special things in there and padlock it from the kids. Let them have the rest of the things you don't want. I'm excited for you.