I just spent 4 days with Katie and family. I'm very happy for them that they were able to get the family spot in the shelter here. I don't know what the issues were in dayton, if their caseworker just didn't have a clue or if it had to do with katie and M.......but they were accomplishing nothing there. Only positive thing was she has a disability case started for Alex. Six weeks and that is ALL they accomplished. Xmas eve went well. Xmas was great. Yesterday and today were the nitemare from hades. Katie and M have ZERO parenting skills. Seriously. You know that Nanny show? She'd stroke, I'm so not kidding. Sure the 2 boys are difficult children.......but when mom and dad can't get their act together longer than 5 secs it doesn't matter if the kids are pcs or difficult children. It was WWIII over the toys the moment they woke up dec 26th until noon today when I flat out told them if it didn't stop immediately all toys would be removed to the family room and would stay there permanently. Both my voice (did not even raise it) and the expression on my face told them I meant every word. I'd had it, totally had it. Suddenly it stopped. Two nights in row they didn't go to sleep until almost 11pm.........first night was because M wouldn't get off his fanny and blow up the air mattress. Had to use the momma voice with him to get him to move. Hitting, snapping at each other, deliberately trying to destroy each others presents........and Evan ruling the roost getting to do whatever he pleased to his sibs things with his parents condoning it. If I stepped in they back off big time, and I had to step in a LOT. I just bought those darn toys, no way am I going to sit idly by while they tear them up just to torture each other. 10pm last night M is rocking Evan like a 3 month old infant in a futile attempt to "put him to sleep". Strange but 45 mins later when that didn't work and I ordered him to bed and to shut his mouth and not get up again, the boy managed to lay there long enough to sleep. ugh Seriously? Rocking a 5 yr old like an infant????? WOW! Weird. But I saw more effort on Katie and M's part in other areas........She was calling shelters without me even suggesting it. He was cleaning up after the kids all day long, made a real effort to be social xmas day......her too. Did notice Katie is repeating to M over and over that it's job, apartment, furnishings, ect, then maybe waaaaaaaaaaaay down the road a computer. Frustrates him but he does relent and shut up when she does that as I back her up. I informed them that HUD will not consider them for housing if either of them have been convicted of a felony. M confessed to having been convicted of one but he carried out his sentence and the judge told him he'd wipe it from his record. (this was like 10 yrs ago) Since our shelter does a background check.....they don't allow ex felons .......judge evidently kept his word as it didn't pop up as a felony. I'd mentioned it to katie because she was getting really psyched over the hud housing here and I didn't want something like that causing her to crash and burn. Also informed Katie on the way back from the shelter interview she'd better get kayla's glasses yesterday as cps will be called and kayla will be removed due to medical neglect. I told her our sd and daytons have called me several times over the issue already. She said she'd get right on it, then tried to give me the excuse kayla will refuse to wear them. I told her kayla will wear them or you tell kayla she will find herself living with another family. She decided suddenly kayla would wear them no matter what. Sorry but I'm done with the soft shoe bit. I'm tell it like it is from here on out. She'll either stay and grow and learn or she'll take off and run. Oh, and I was being uber nice on xmas and let M call his mom who is in a nursing home in texas for xmas. I even looked up the phone number for him online. This woman has not seen her child since he was at least 15 yrs old. She's not spoken to him in more than 6 yrs. I was 3 ft from the phone and could hear her excitement at her son calling her on xmas! He just barely manages a oh how you doing Mom when he starts asking about some aunt that supposedly has his money from his part of the farm left to him by his grandpa. WTH? M's grandpa died before he turned 15.....almost 30 yrs ago! On and on he went. Finally kayla pries the phone from him to talk to this stranger who was yet another grandparent she never knew she had......... Soon as the phone call is over Kayla wants to know when they're heading to texas. Told ya she's my lil blabber mouth. lol Oh.......this has a more involved spin when I did finally find in the depths of katies journal that she hoped mother in law had left her enough money to get a house at the very least. Gimme a break. mother in law wrote her out of the will in an air tight way she'd have never been able to break in court. mother in law was a smart cookie. She did that the day after katie took off with kayla and alex all those years ago. I did not tell katie that part. But I did tell her truthfully that mother in law's money was gone before she'd been in the nursing home 2 months. So while she may want to change on some level..........those hands are still outstretched for any handout they can hope to get. Tonight they're in our shelter. Katie was upset I didn't cook a full meal before they left. (they were to check in at 6pm) I said she could eat ramen or ham sandwiches. I had nothing to cook. They opted for the shelter........guess ramen and left overs isn't good enough. No sweat for me. She was even more upset when she asked when her dad could take her to go pick up their clothes from the dayton shelter. I told her we wouldn't be doing so. Shelling out 60 bucks in gas and wasting 3 hrs to pick them up to come down for the holidays and take them back was one thing, we weren't wasting neither the time nor the gas money for used clothing they were stupid enough to leave behind. Guess what? I bought the darn clothes, figure I ought to have the right to decide if I want to pick them up or not. And they all have plenty more here. ugh Oh, and M announced I'd probably be seeing him in the mornings for coffee. Told him it would be a 5 mile walk in the cold for nothing then as I wouldn't be opening the door. I'm not a cafe or a bed and breakfast. Get over it. omg! Told Katie there are FRS services to drive them where they need to go. And the shelter will lock up their food stamp card when they get it so they can't spend it before leaving the shelter or while they're in it. LMAO!!!! Guess the grands and M will learn to eat what is set in front of them and to appreciate it instead of running out and buying a boat load of junk food. And there will be no more nights out of the shelter, not even for the kids. Shelter requires every night be spent there, period. So yeah, did a bit of laying down the law as well as sizing things up. ugh IF katie listens, I've got my work more than cut out for me. Did notice another thing. Katie is having major issues with her legs swelling. I don't mean just puffy, I mean swelling in a major way all the way up to the hips. No clue what the heck that is........she says she has no symptoms of kidney issues......and I don't really see anything that would cause it but it's pretty darn bad. So guess that is the update. My house is quiet tonight and I'm thankful for it. Had to laugh though. Both Kayla and Alex asked me what I was going to do for their bdays and easter. I said I'm not doing anything. I don't "do" other holidays or bdays, that is totally up to their parents............Kayla let her parents know that before they left tonight. lol Now to enjoy the quiet while it lasts. If M starts showing up all the time like he did when they were here before I may quickly regret their moving to our shelter.