Hi everyone.......

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by sooooo tired, Aug 30, 2017.

  1. sooooo tired

    sooooo tired soooootired

    It has been a busy summer so far. I just wanted to see how everyone is doing. I have been dating a wonderful man for one year now. He is so good to me. I still have my lows about my daughter. I havent spoken to her in a year and a half. In one way it makes me sad. But my life is so much calmer without her in it. My heart still aches for my grandson. I dont get to see him as much anymore because we are taking alot of trips and enjoying life. I have had him a few times and my friend has been with me. Even though my grandson likes him I know he just wants to be with me one on one, because that is the way it has been for the last four years. He starts kindergarten this year and I feel for him. She has not spent enough time with him to teach him basic things. I have a 2 year old grandson and he knows his abcs and can count to 20. My 5 year old makes mistakes saying his abcs and does not recognize alot of numbers. It is sad because he has always been a very smart kid. He just hasnt had any guidance. I tend to feel guilty about not seeing him as often,but I also feel like this is my time to enjoy life at 64. I love all of you that got me through the worst of this situation. I would have not made it without you. My only fear right now is that something will happen to my daughter and I would have to live with the guilt of how our relationship was. I really dont know what I would do if she did come to me and wanted to have a relationship again. But I guess I will have to deal with that if it ever happens.
     
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  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    One day at a time. Please seek some support to find closure and relevie yourself of the guilt. For us guilt is a killer. My husband and I are in therapy, main topic is guilt.
     
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  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi Sooooo Tired!

    Or should we call you Sooooo Happy, now?

    I am so glad to hear that you have a wonderful SO and are enjoying your life....you deserve it. Have fun and don't feel guilty. This is your time to enjoy life!

    I'm sorry that you daughter hasn't had a change of heart, but there is nothing that you can do about that. It is what it is. You can't change her, and allowing yourself to be her verbal punching bag doesn't help either of you.

    I'm glad your grandson is in school, now. He will have a good time and meet a lot of new friends.

    Check in and let us know how you are doing from time to time, if possible!

    Apple
     
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  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's good to "see" you again soooootired......thanks for the update.....I love hearing about how much your life has improved....you deserve the joy and calm you've created for yourself.

    I understand that fear about the "what if's".......I occasionally visit that joyless landscape too.......I've trained myself to feel that for about a minute and then I've learned to let it go....and return to the present moment.....future tripping about what could happen is a great recipe for losing this moment, the moment we're living in NOW.....let it go. If something happens to your daughter or mine, we will deal with it then......for now, go enjoy life!
     
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  5. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    I do not think not knowing ABC at 5 well is not such an problem my youngest did not knew it until he was 7 and of course only learned to read at the same age.
    It did not affect him in life in the slightest. Your 5 year old grandson is better then what my son was at that age. In the long term it does not matter.
     
  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Thanks for the update! So happy you are in a better place and seeing someone who is good to you.

    You have nothing to feel guilty about ever!!! You were there to offer help to your daughter so many times and she always took you for granted.

    I've thought the same thing about my son. What I do know is in order for that to happen, I will have to see that he is really working on making his life better. Not just for a couple of months but a few years. Once I see that he can make steady progress and be responsible and not play the blame game anymore, then and only then will I be willing to "let" him back into my life.
    I've said it before, I will always love my son but I don't like him and I don't trust him.

    ((HUGS)) to you..................
     
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