Again tonight- another drunken phone call about how awful ghg's life is. She says she can't stop drinking because she fears another seizure from alcohol withdrawal. She has had at least 3 over the past few years, so I don't doubt that is the case. The problem is, she is 28 and has been a hard-core, non-functional alcoholic for the past 10 years. It seems to never end. I told her she needs medical detox- but she says 'can't' because she would have to leave her apartment. Now she says she can't leave because she is 'agorophobiic'. This is a new one. It is another conversation in circular logic. She also asks- again- to come home to live with us. We have tried this many times, but it has never worked out. She does fine while here, when we are paying for everything, but then immediately goes back to drinking when she leaves here. Drinking meaning: unconscious, non-functional, loses job, drinks 24/7. She refuses rehab, counseling, medical help, AA. She just wants to live here- and when she does, she is able to stay sober, but is miserable and treats us like we are an annoyance- in our own home. She likes the comfort here- cable TV, good food, free washer/dryer, furniture, rides to wherever she needs to go (doesn't have to take the bus as she usually does as she has neither car nor license). We have told her we will help her only when she is willing to go into a rehab/detox program. This she refuses to do.
I heard a male voice in the background when she called today- She said it was just a guy saying he will pay her bills, not to worry, etc etc. My ghg says 'don't worry, mom- I'm not prostituting myself'. Well- why would a guy pay her bills and bring her alcohol so she can remain non-functional unless something was expected? We are not idiots. How else is her rent being paid? At lease she has not children.
Hope this doesn't sound too 'out there'--- but this is really the life my ghg is living. Guy after guy, never - ever- sober.
It is heartbreaking. I am working on detachment- and usually doing pretty well. But when she calls, she always says: 'Mommy, can't I come home to live?' We won't allow that again- but I do think of what could have been- what should have been.
Thank you for all the support you all provide. I know I am not the only one.
I heard a male voice in the background when she called today- She said it was just a guy saying he will pay her bills, not to worry, etc etc. My ghg says 'don't worry, mom- I'm not prostituting myself'. Well- why would a guy pay her bills and bring her alcohol so she can remain non-functional unless something was expected? We are not idiots. How else is her rent being paid? At lease she has not children.
Hope this doesn't sound too 'out there'--- but this is really the life my ghg is living. Guy after guy, never - ever- sober.
It is heartbreaking. I am working on detachment- and usually doing pretty well. But when she calls, she always says: 'Mommy, can't I come home to live?' We won't allow that again- but I do think of what could have been- what should have been.
Thank you for all the support you all provide. I know I am not the only one.