What makes you peaceful and grounded?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Jan 7, 2018.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    1 deep trance guided meditation

    2. Nature walks (weather permitting)

    3. My dogs

    4. My husband

    5. My children and hugging my granddaughter

    6.Fireplaces

    7. Scented candles

    8. Aquariums

    9. Birds singing

    10. When it is snowing

    Your list?
     
  2. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    I have developed PTSD with all that iurbson has put us through. This is very hard for me to cope with. I am a pretty tough nut and this has been hard for me to realize. I also realized I had no joy left in my life. I also recognized I was clinically depressed. I am in such a better place now than I was in the spring. I can enjoy the simple pleasures in life again.
    1 My husband and I ground each other.

    2 birds hearing them and seeing them.

    3 scuba Diving it is my tranquil place

    4 Reading for pleasure which I don’t do
    enough of

    5 time with my son when he is clean is so peaceful and grounding

    6 Aquariums

    7 Meditating I am learning how to do this to mange my panic attacks

    It has almost been 8 weeks since I have had to sit in a courtroom or drag my son to bail meetings. This is a peaceful feeling. Not sure how that fits in the list but it sure is peaceful.
     
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  3. Toomanytears

    Toomanytears New Member

    Isn’t this the truth LBL??

    After being away after the holiday, I felt a reprieve the past 10 days. No tears shed, few intestinal issues, fewer PTSD symptoms where I feel I can’t breathe, depression, and chronic headaches.

    Quick recap.. 35 yr old son, addict since 13, been in court or rehab every year for 23 years. Finally sober for 2-1/2 yrs. Presidents list for college courses, new home, working night shift and watching baby during the day. Wife could not stop expecting more. Nights out were at winery or bar. Big no-no for sobriety. She was investigated for abuse of her daughter Dec 2016. Investigation unfounded. She is a middle school counselor.
    He hung in there, coming here to talk , went to counseling. Relapsed big time. Heroin & Benzos. Literally lost his mind. Robbed a convenience store. ( no weapon - I know, it makes it so much better. Not.)

    Our son is coming home from rehab Tues. and has found a long term IOP program out of state, which comes highly recommended by his current medical staff. He needs MAT (medically assisted therapy) because of his opiate blockers, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)/ADHD diagnosis... (yes, he is a mess). It is VERY difficult to find extended care especially for the opiate blocker (suboxone) because many caregivers feel it is just an extension ( like heroin) of his addiction. He has been on this medication for a decade. While it can be abused, I strongly feel without it, our son would not be alive today.

    Back to the PTSD... upon walking in the door we had 3 certified letters. One from his wife who has taken out a PFA against him. The anger I feel over this is tremendous. He was incarcerated for 3 weeks, went directly to inpatient rehab. He has not been at his home since October. She sent 2 nasty grams to him in jail and signed up for a calling plan to talk with him. He has had no contact except for a letter wishing her and the children a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. This infuriated me so because there are women that truly NEED this order for protection. She is using it to get “ one up” going into the sale of their house because this can have him evicted from the premises even though his name is on the deed.
    Whether PFA’s are truly a deterrent for some is a discussion for another day.

    I understand being bitter, aren’t we all that we are dealt this card? What does she want, to bury him? She was friends with him for 18 yrs. First loves. She knew of his past history and got pregnant within 2 months of him coming out of a rehab ...

    I can’t sleep or that’s all I want to do. I pray. I cry. I throw up. My husband and I have weathered all these storms but we both are just worn out. I know we need to take care of ourselves but how .. when it is ALWAYS in your face?

    Next on the list of “to do’s” - get all our belongings, our sons belongings and our grandsons belongings ( 8 your old to previous marriage) out of his house he hasn’t lived in for months. We do have an attorney involved to recover funds from a promissory note that was signed by both and she is denying that it was ever for a house, and to have Sheriff present when we move items.
    Oh, and an added bonus.. her posts on fb re: direct assaults to my husband and I. I’m not even on any more just because it’s a waste of my time and not worth the worry.

    I apologize for rambling. 4 court hearings this month. All I can do is look at the calendar and pray he can find a way to get out of this state ( ok’d by bail bondsman) and he will check with his att tomorrow to see if any or all of these can get pushed back. He NEEDS IOP now.

    Thanks for listening.. ((Hugs))
     
  4. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    Sending you strength and hugs. I am tormented by the fact that this site makes me feel so united and blessed that I am not alone with this struggle. Yet angryxat all of the agony and pain this causes so many of us.
     
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  5. Toomanytears

    Toomanytears New Member

    SWOT & LBL...
    I apologize for my post! I’m embarrassed! You asked “ what makes you peaceful and grounded? “ I saw PTSD and went on a rant. It’s been bottled up I suppose..would you like me to delete my previous post?
    I do have blessings in my life that keep me peaceful and grounded..

    A beautiful sunrise & sunset
    My grandson
    My husband and partner in life
    My dogs
    The sound of the ocean or bay
    Any animal will bring a smile to my face
    My best girlfriend
    Laughing til it hurts
    Making snow angels
    Sledding with my grandson
    Sitting around a campfire with my sober children
    The smell of something baking
    Looking at the stars and praying
     
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  6. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    No need to delete anything this is a dialogue and some things trigger memories for us. Post away. I have been known to hijack a post here and here. I think we all do it at times. We need to vent.
     
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  7. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    1. Praying and having conversations with God.

    2. My Life Group - we meet once a week.

    3. Spending time with my husband.

    4. Being in nature whether it's walking, riding my bike or taking a drive. I love seeing the beauty of this world.

    5. My sweet little kitty. Snuggling with her is so calming.

    6. Working - may sound strange but my job gives me a purpose and sense of accomplishment which brings me peace.

    7. Chatting with my grandkids.

    8. Spending time at the beach - there is something so calming about the waves. I love to sit watch and listen to the waves.
     
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  8. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Prayer
    Early morning walks in the quiet before dawn, moon and stars out.
    Sunrise at the beach
    Sunset at the beach
    Canoe Paddling
    My grandchildren’s smiles
    Company of good friends
    Working in the garden
    Hiking in the mountains
    Sculpting clay
    Painting
    Refurbishing furniture
    Having a clean house (help!)
     
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  9. Old-hand

    Old-hand Active Member

    Engrossing myself in my own world... related to all things that make me happy, and being away from the general public.
     
  10. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    1. Quiet day with nothing on the agenda
    2. Prayer
    3. Date night or similar with husband
    4. Reading good book...esp if spiritual
    5. Viewing / being in / beautiful natural outdoor scenes (i.e. Mountains, etc)
    6. Beautiful music
    7. Talking with a great friend
    8. Beautiful flowers
    9. Beautiful architecture/interior design

    10. Exercise (to a certain extent)
     
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  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    You know...I don't know that I ever feel "peaceful and grounded".

    I feel content with my life at times.
    I feel less stressed out at times.
    I even feel happy at times.

    That's about it. I suppose I might feel peaceful and grounded if I were sitting on a quiet beach watching the waves. I remember that feeling. Or in front of a warm, comfy fire, watching the rain/snow falling outside, with no need to move and go out in it. Perhaps walking in the woods...that's as close as I actually have to an opportunity to really feel it...except then I'm usually mushrooming and if I don't find any I get annoyed and frustrated, or I get lost because my sense of direction sucks, so there's that.

    I think I'm always doing things with a purpose...and to feel "peaceful" I need to NOT have something to do. I'd need to have the thing I'm doing be ALL that I need to do! No thinking about laundry, or work, or food or what needs to be done once you stop doing what you're doing...to be able to JUST do the thing I'm doing. Does that make sense?

    Maybe traveling...assuming there's no serious snafus - but I'm pretty good at rolling with the flow. When you travel, the travel is the point. There's nothing else you should be doing...the entire focus is on seeing new things and seeing new things is all your are doing. That's nice.

    Snuggling with Jabber - before sleep...not when you're about to get up and do a thousand things...that would probably come closest.

    I can think of a lot of things that would make me feel peaceful and grounded...I just don't get to do them.
     
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    Last edited: Jan 17, 2018
  12. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    How I feel peaceful and grounded~
    Putting in a hard days work and jumping into my nice clean comfortable bed. I have a double layer pillow top bed and I feel hugged and loved while in it.
    Taking a shower in my outside Tahiti shower. I had a large shower built in the back yard where birds and other creatures come visit. The birds sing while I shower and sometime frogs get in there and stand in the shower with me. It always makes me feel so grounded that they are not scared of me.
    I have a few ferral and stray cats that visit me in the back yard. Some of them chat and want to be petted. I love how sweet they are and I feel grounded petting them and hearing them purr.
    I feel very grounded when I visit my hometown and see the girlfriends I grew up with. They are so interesting in funny.
    I feel grounded when my husband is in a good mood and we have a nice meal together.

    I feel much peace when I get on my bike and ride it all over especially in the sun light.
    I feel deep peace when I swim laps and as I go through the water I imagine the water going past me washing away my pain and agony.
    I feel peaceful when I give someone a massage and they look like a complete relaxed person afterwards. I made it though some hard times with my daughter giving her massages when she was unbearable. It helped ground both of us.
    I feel grounded when I am around kind loving people.
     
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  13. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My prayer time with God
    Reading good mystery novels
    Petting my cats
    Spending time with my 17 year old son, talking with him, and laughing at his jokes
    Walks along the neighborhood while listing to good music
    Laying in bed, warm blanket on, meditating
    Warms baths
    The sound of the rain
     
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  14. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I had to look up what exactly “peaceful and grounded” means.

    Probably a clue that I’m not there....

    It was very interesting. Being in the moment. Every moment. Not getting through the task at hand just to be done with it. Not thinking about the next task. Not worrying about the future or fretting about the past.

    Very interesting concept.

    I am going to try that.
     
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  15. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Hey! I was right! :D I totally winged that without looking it up. LOL

    I may not have known what being "grounded" was for sure, but I knew it was something I'm NOT!

    Not thinking about the next task is, without a doubt, something I'm VERY bad at. My brain is always on something else besides what I'm doing. It used to be my kid. These days, it's Jabber's family, or things I need to get done around the house. It may be the stuff I need, or just want, to make for our upcoming medieval camping event/vacation. Or work I need to get done before I take a week off after my surgery...then the event which is a month after that. I lay awake at night building kitchen boxes in my head - or sewing - or getting decisions written...everything but sleeping. When I'm at work, like now, I'm also thinking about stuff...I can access Pinterest on my office computer - that's a bad thing.

    What a wonderful thing it must be to "be in the moment".
     
  16. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I was shocked!

    People actually live that way?

    Sounds so nice....
     
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