I have been reading for a couple of weeks and I wish I could feel an ounce of the strength I see displayed by you all..i am broken. My story is a novel so bullet points..
20 year old incredibly gifted son
My life hell for the past 5 years
Countless suspensions..two expulsions
Managed to get him through hs
Countless arrests
Marijuana use
Countless broken items..holes in walls
Meltdowns, rage, disrespect, entitlement
Father in prison. We have a good relationship. His wife is my biggest support and I love her so much
I have gone to the moon and back for him. I have advocated beyond belief. I have bailed him out time after time after time. Not just from jail but from everything! Yes, I have enabled. I have worked with street youth and the one common thing they all whispered through their tears was "my mom abandoned me" I never wanted to be that. All of it was for nothing. He is hateful, he verbally abuses me. He says I'm a horrible, person and mother. According to him I have done nothing right. My family has loved, cherished and supported him and for this we get nothing. It is devastating.
He is at this moment sitting in my garage. I have parked down the street out of fear. My home is not my safe place. Can't go to my parents house close by as to not stress them. They are at a loss too. I don't want my partner to see my swollen eyes as he is so angry at my son for what he is doing. I feel displaced. This is no life.
My difficult child has apparently found a place and is moving out. He spits that at me as he angrily demands his college money. I doubt he will be attending college in the fall as he planned..he says he is going to drop out.
A novel.i could write but I won't. I am glad that there are people who can understand my pain as this suffering is something only to understand by experience. I can only wish that I will find the peace that some of you have found within yourselves
20 year old incredibly gifted son
My life hell for the past 5 years
Countless suspensions..two expulsions
Managed to get him through hs
Countless arrests
Marijuana use
Countless broken items..holes in walls
Meltdowns, rage, disrespect, entitlement
Father in prison. We have a good relationship. His wife is my biggest support and I love her so much
I have gone to the moon and back for him. I have advocated beyond belief. I have bailed him out time after time after time. Not just from jail but from everything! Yes, I have enabled. I have worked with street youth and the one common thing they all whispered through their tears was "my mom abandoned me" I never wanted to be that. All of it was for nothing. He is hateful, he verbally abuses me. He says I'm a horrible, person and mother. According to him I have done nothing right. My family has loved, cherished and supported him and for this we get nothing. It is devastating.
He is at this moment sitting in my garage. I have parked down the street out of fear. My home is not my safe place. Can't go to my parents house close by as to not stress them. They are at a loss too. I don't want my partner to see my swollen eyes as he is so angry at my son for what he is doing. I feel displaced. This is no life.
My difficult child has apparently found a place and is moving out. He spits that at me as he angrily demands his college money. I doubt he will be attending college in the fall as he planned..he says he is going to drop out.
A novel.i could write but I won't. I am glad that there are people who can understand my pain as this suffering is something only to understand by experience. I can only wish that I will find the peace that some of you have found within yourselves